I spent the first half of my life in pursuit of an imagined horizon. My carefree spirit some sign of freedom, but when the soul is tethered the journey is but a few leagues forward and several leagues back.
My pursuits were pleasing and the end resulted in a shadow of what might have been. My faith was shallow as was my spirit. I reached for a shore that did not exist, a mirage composed of anger, regret, and jealousy. I found no solace because I was not honest with myself or with others, closing myself from the love being offered.
My faith is now stronger in both God and in myself. I realize that faith should result in a peace with one’s self. Gone is a need to please, to possess, or to achieve and in its place lies a deep ocean of eternal possibilities.
My 47th year started with a stroke – an awakening – and the year’s journey, not perfect, but smooth and gentle. I am only ever promised one day and the only request of my faith is to love and to be kind, making the next 48 years or four days (whichever) richer and more fuller.
“Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, or by running away from things, or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. Rather, we must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.” ~ Meister Eckhart